DAY 27 - Saturday, APRIL 7, 2001


Lisa, the bridesmaid, wearing the
Swedish colors (and a lampshade).

Scene 00

Cosmo is this guy that always seemed to be around the production office during pre-production, although I don't think we'd hired him. Like so many members of the crew on EvenHand, he was a friend of several others in the tight-knit San Antonio film community.

My first experience with Cosmo was when I was auditioning Toby candidates. After seeing him around, I requested that he show up because his "look" was pretty much dead on for what I had in mind for Toby. Unfortunately, however, he didn't have that je ne sai quoi that directors seek in their cast. But, he soon found a home in the transportation department as one of the crack drivers.

Bill Sage prepares to spritz Cosmo with...mace?

Let me take this opportunity to say a few words about our transportation department. They were a nice bunch of kids, but after the first couple of weeks of production, I was terrified to get in a car with most of them. It was sort of like a flashback to my own first failed attempt at my driver's test on Edgecomb Avenue in upper Manhattan -- failure to stop at red lights and stop signs was endemic, and pulling in or out of traffic was often a hair-raising experience. I usually found some excuse to drive myself and as many essential actors as possible to and from lunch. At any rate, Cosmo soon earned a reputation as the king of the dings. The day I fired him for failing to pick up the actors on a particularly hellish morning, I watched as he pulled a van into traffic on South Flores and nearly got broadsided by an oncoming car.

Matt directs wedding/wrap party traffic

Needless to say, I was elated when Lovisa announced that she was planning on marrying Cosmo. I immediately offered to give away the bride. We agreed that the wrap party was the best time to stage the wedding; the entire cast and crew would be there to wish the newlyweds well.

The ceremony

I wouldn't say the ceremony was exactly traditional. The bridesmaids wore a variety of interesting outfits. Lisa's was hands down the most creative: a yellow slip with blue and yellow rubber gloves and a blue lampshade. The colors of the Swedish flag never looked so good. Lovisa and Cosmo were dressed appropriately for a bride and groom, in a long gown with veil and a white tux, respectively. The minister was from some interesting church that I'd never heard of and don't presently recall.

As soon as the vows were exchanged and the newlyweds kissed, I brought out the handcuffs and promptly cuffed them together, in which state they remained for the balance of the evening.

- Joseph Pierson

I got cuffed that night, too

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