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75 INT. MUFFIN SHIP – AFTERNOON

Darcy collects two B.L.T.s from Menu Man and delivers them to a couple in the corner. The Customer occupies his usual spot at the counter. The place has come alive, somewhat.

Leila enters and looks around, followed by Evy, looking miserable, and Donald, oblivious.

DARCY
Hi, Boss. Haven’t seen you in a while.

LEILA
Who are these people?

DOTTIE
Customers.

LEILA
When did we get… customers?

Dottie indicates Menu Man, who walks out from behind the counter.

MENU MAN
Here’s the deal, Harvard. From now on, the menu’s whatever I decide to cook. I set the prices according to who’s buying. Lawyers can no longer afford to eat here.

DONALD
Hey. I’m a lawyer. Who is this guy?

EVY
He hates that question.

LEILA
(to Evy)
How would you know?

MENU MAN
I get no salary, but ten percent of the gross. We’re closed on Wednesdays because I don’t like Wednesdays and we’re closed on Sundays because I do like Sundays.

DONALD
(an attempt at wit)
Somebody put the "dick" in dictator.

MENU MAN
Quiet, junior. I do all the shopping. I eat for free and I live for free in those two rooms behind the kitchen. It’s possible that I will leave at any time. Do we have an understanding?

DONALD
Are you wanted or something?

EVY
(disgusted)
Good one, Donald.

DONALD
I’m just asking.

LEILA
He’s a poet.

DARCY
Say "yes," boss.

LEILA
Can you get them here by 6:00 a.m.? Nose rings… set and shined?

MENU MAN
Doubtful. Very, very doubtful. (beat) So, who’s hungry?

DONALD
I could eat.

MENU MAN
What about you… Superman? I don’t know how to price your meal.

TURN AROUND to find Gary, as Superman, approaching the group.

GARY
Leila?

All heads turn.

LEILA
Ah, Gary.

GARY
Listen, I don’t know what got into me last night. I’m just not used to being… laughed at.

LEILA
Some clown!

DOTTIE
Last night?

LEILA
It’s a long story.

Darcy crosses to ogle Superman.

DARCY
(lusty)
So this is Bozo?

DOTTIE
(to Leila)
You’re not really going through with it, are you?

DARCY
(to Dottie)
Are you nuts?

LEILA
That’s what I do, Dottie… I go though with things. Usually. (hustling Gary out the door) Could we talk about this later, Gary?

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